Blank, Confused, Unheard, Unwanted…
Am having a very heavy heart in me. Am i thinking too much? Hm… well, had week 0 meeting tdy w jason, grace, xx, jordan and janson. Well, came out w the programme flow. However there is a twist to next yr’s orientation. The programme wise there is a change. As told by wallace, we would have to come out w two plan of programme flow. well, it seems tedious, but with our team we had, we will sure mk it through.
I promise i will be the last one to break down for any projects that i am handling now. I shall not show my feelings and be calm n do my job well. I will the “pillar” of everything. I will support my grp and not let them fall. i will only break down at home when no one sees in my room n i will just cry to bed if i really cant tk it. I know those who are reading will think or say crying will not solve the problem. i know. but that is my way of letting out b4 i get things on the right track.
To my wk 0 team: Jason n Grace
We will mk it n plan n mk things happen! i trust both of u and we will mk wk 0 a memorable one.
To my HLP team:
Lets mk HLP a success!!! we are half way through le. Finishing line is nearing. I know there are many hipcups etc.. but we are movin.. but we gt to move fast le.. haha.. proposal is almost up. JYJY.. Would like to say that i am sry if i am not a good org. I will do my best. !! =)
To my ECO team:
Thanks so much for ur understanding. Knowin tt i am holdin 3 projects u guys really did not blame if i cant turn up. i will try to help my best n advise ok!? Tell me if u need anyting! esp to zh n sharon, u guys have been great. great workin w u guys!
To Gene n Nad ad whole main coms:
Sry for those time that i made u guys worried n mk u wonder how am i alrite. I will stop this nonsense le.. sry as sometimes i cant hold my emotions and will just look damn emo. ha. Thks so much gene for the advice that u have been giving. I know u are having SIP, but u really tk great effort to check on all of us! It has been hard on u! Anyway do tk care ya? To nad, thks for listening to me n encouraging me at times when i feel so hopless and useless… u too do tk care ya? Health is very impt. I do know wat is happenin. Pls tk care of yr health ah! sick go see doc. heh..
Just a note to all Darling Main Coms:
We will work hard as one and mk this year a great yr!!!!! <3 u guys!
Gtg le..
cheers
chel
Uncategorized | Comment (1)Its so true….
Name: Chel
Date: 9/19/2008
Colorgenics Number: 16243705
You don’t need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don’t like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being ‘left out’. What you really need is perhaps some ‘tender loving care’.
You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.
Everything seems to have gone wrong and the situation at this time is such that you are not quite sure which way to turn. So it would appear that you are ‘holding back’, re-consolidating your position and relinquishing all fun and games for the time being.
You are frustrated and stressed. You appreciate the finer things in life but at all times you appear to stay aloof, critical of everything and everyone about you. You will not be carried away by your emotions and you refuse to trust anyone or any situation unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore, you keep a strict and watchful control on your feelings as you must know exactly where you stand at all times. You demand complete sincerity as a protection against your own tendency to be too trusting.
You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.
Haha.. its so true.. however, i am very emotionally unstable and have to get myself uprite and get things going. I know i can. I will do my best for everything.
Well, met up w jason, gene and nad tdy… great talk w nad… well, thks nad for listening. Hope i didnt bore u. hee.. well, i will be away for two days… so back after the Malacca trip…
Tk care… and after which will chiong for all projects. I WANT TO DO THEM WELL!!!!!!
cheers
chel
Uncategorized | Comment (0)In tears
LTC camp, its over… however through this camp i feel its not an ordinary camp. Well, it was meant to be a camp where one will have their programmes planned carried out and hopefully no hip ups… i am not sayin it should be perfect.. we are all new… inexperience… there sure bound to be mistakes… however the mistakes made… or should i say the tension faced.. was really a great impact to me though i am not the organiser or co.
Seeing all their faces, be it happy or sad, emo or devasted or depressed… everyone in this camp i am sure had their thoughts to it but just dun know how to express it. How should i say? Seein things happening infront of me, i can feel damn helpless n useless that i broke down again. well, i feel a age gap at times however noting the point that u guys dun mind… i sometimes do doubt but not u guys maybe its myself… yes u mite find me not open enough.. guess that is my nature… however at times i feel that one is feelin down… i dun know how to comfort you guys.. just give a listening ear. well, i dun know does it help but i will just do my best.
Would like to say thks n sry to keep u guys worried during the camp. I did not know u guys were so concern. really. but i am really grateful and appreciate yr concern. Well, would like to say.. We will work tgt as one as show that we can do it! We really can.
Through the camp. …i ponder alot.. be it what i have done… or how is everything, seeing many diff faces i feel dilemma at times… i dun know is it me or what bt yl ever say tt i put too much responsiblity to myself.. tat i made myself so down…
maybe i am too concern and worried abt other pple’s feelings or attitudes towards me tt i sometimes tries my best to not offend anyone. haiz… i dun know.. but i know this yr main com will do a great job…
would like to say… dear main coms, whatever has happened… happened… pls dun think so much or blame oneslef for anyting that had happened. Everyone did well for the LTC camp!
All the best n we shall work as one!!!!
Love u all!!! =)
cheers
chel
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